Divorce mediation offers a path toward a less stressful, less costly, and potentially more amicable divorce. Unlike traditional court battles where a judge decides your fate, mediation empowers you and your spouse to craft your own solutions under the guidance of a neutral third party – the mediator. Amanda at Flat Fee Divorce Solutions has been mediating for over 15 years. She explains what you can expect from the process and how to prepare for a productive mediation experience.
The Mediator’s Role: A Guide, Not An Authority
It’s important to understand the mediator’s role from the outset. They are not there to offer legal advice, make decisions, or side with one party over another. Instead, their primary functions are:
Facilitating Communication: Mediators create a safe space for open and constructive dialogue. They will help you communicate effectively, de-escalate tensions, and actively listen to both sides of the story.
Identifying Common Ground: By listening carefully, the mediator helps you and your spouse understand each other’s wants and needs, and identifies potential areas for agreement.
Exploring Options: Mediators encourage brainstorming and help couples explore creative solutions, often focusing on solutions that are in the best interests of any children involved.
Framing Agreements: Once you reach agreements, mediators assist in drafting them into a clear and concise form that can be incorporated into your divorce settlement.
It’s Important to Note: While a mediator might have a legal background, their role in mediation is not to provide legal counsel to either party during the process.
How To Prepare Effectively For Mediation Sessions
To make the most our of your session with your mediation lawyer, it’s crucial to arrive prepared. Consider these steps:
Define Your Goals: Think deeply about what’s most important to you in the divorce. Prioritize what matters across issues like:
- Parenting (custody) and visitation schedules
- Division of assets and debts
- Spousal support (alimony)
Understand Your Spouse’s Perspective: Try to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and anticipate their goals and priorities. While you might disagree, understanding where they are coming from will help in finding common ground.
Brainstorm Potential Solutions: Don’t just focus on your ideal outcome. Begin thinking about areas where you may be willing to compromise and explore different scenarios that might bridge the gap between your desires and those of your spouse. This flexibility is key to successful mediation.
Example: Parenting Time
Let’s use parenting time as an example. If you desire a week-on-week-off schedule and your spouse wants the children during the weekdays with shared weekends, consider the following approaches:
Shared Weekdays: Perhaps splitting the weekdays might work – you take Monday and Tuesday, your spouse takes Wednesday and Thursday, and you alternate weekends.
Summer Schedules: Work out a week-on-week-off schedule for the summer months when schedules are often more flexible.
Additional Preparation Tips
- Gather Financial Information: Collect bank statements, property tax records, and other documentation related to your assets and debts.
- Hire an Attorney: Even though the mediator can’t give legal advice, having an attorney to offer advice and draft your final agreement before signing is essential.
- Maintain a Willingness to Compromise: Remember, the goal of mediation is to find solutions that are as agreeable as possible to both parties. A “winner takes all” mentality is unlikely to lead to success.
The Benefits Of Divorce Mediation
When successful, divorce mediation offers several significant advantages:
- Faster and Less Expensive: Mediation typically leads to a quicker and more cost-effective resolution compared to court battles.
- Greater Control: You and your spouse have significant control over the outcome of your divorce, rather than relinquishing power to a judge.
- Improved Communication: Mediation can improve communication between you and your spouse, which can be particularly beneficial if you have children together.
- Increased Chance of Agreement: The collaborative nature of mediation makes it easier to find solutions that both parties can accept.
Divorce is never easy, but I can offer a pathway towards a smoother and more amicable resolution by acting as your mediation lawyer. By preparing thoroughly and approaching negotiations with an open mind, you increase the chances of a successful outcome that puts you on track toward a positive next chapter.